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Were You Programmed to Succeed or Fail?

Updated: Dec 15, 2022

Me? I Was Definitely Programmed to Fail!

"We have to come to terms with how we were conditioned to be and discover that 'My conditioning is not who I am.'" – GP

I was programmed to fail. Everything my parents did undermined my confidence, instilled deep self-doubt and made me feel alone and unworthy.

As a result, even though I went on to have some very significant success in my life, I never really got to enjoy the fruits of them. There was always this feeling that it was a mistake, a fluke and that it really wasn't that much big a deal anyway. Anyone could have done that, right?

Now, none of this was conscious. I was not going around thinking those thoughts. I was, in fact, a very positive fellow. I was full of wit and fun. But this deep programming to fail, or at least , not accept success, did show up as very subtle feelings, doubts, and a very debilitating inability to assess the quality of my own work. That made me rely on the opinions of others and that made me very vulnerable to being manipulated, gaslit and even having others take credit for what I had accomplished.

It caused me to pass by opportunities, in so many areas of my life. And, on those occasions when I did fail (and there were some spectacular ones) I would be devastated way beyond an appropriate disappointment. It triggered a sense of humiliation that was felt more than thought. It felt like a kind of withdrawing, a shyness and I was anything but a shy guy.

I had been conditioned to fail and/or not value my success. And, just to pour salt in the would, the failure was all my fault. Failure wasn't just a temporary state but a permanent condition. Unconsciously I assumed that I was essentially flawed. Over the years I had developed layers upon layers of behaviors to mask this underlying assumption, keep it hidden so it wouldn't betray my true, worthless nature and tried all sorts of ways to compensate.

None the less, it was influencing everything in my life negatively.

That first step toward healing was not a pleasant one. I had to become aware that this failure program was there, that it was quite active and it was powerfully influential. Even though I couldn't actually see the assumption, buried as it was deep in the body. I began to see that it was like an invisible hand influencing thoughts, feelings and even sensations.

On recognizing this influence (and then owning up to its power which was a real blow to my ego) I then I had to take stock of all the subtle tendencies that had taken hold of my mind and had become a recurring pattern, operating on autopilot, namely:

  • Self doubt

  • Lack of confidence

  • Inability to value my work and successes

  • Diminishing of accomplishments

  • Incapacity for self-validation

I did realize that just trying to change those thoughts to positive ones was a waste of time. First off, they were more felt than thought. And secondly, they were only the effect. The cause was in the body. The mind pattern was a reflection in the water. You can't change the reflection by swapping out the water. You have to go to the source.

I have to say it was not easy but, as it turned out, it was indeed easier than I had thought it was going to be and the rewards were quick and permanent.

So, if I may, I would like to invite you to take stock right now. Have you been programmed for success or failure? It is not, of course, cut and dry, you can be very open to success in one part of your life and be totally dysfunctional in another. But here is a checklist to test the waters.

  • Do you diminish you successes, downplay them or don't want others to feel bad when you succeed?

  • Do you want to brag or lord it over someone?

  • Can you receive a simple compliment?

  • Does accomplishing anything feel difficult, even when you just think about it?

  • If someone criticizes you do you want to hide under a rock or become very defensive?

  • Does every new project start with a feeling of a lack of confidence, like "Is it going to work this time?"

  • When things get difficult do you get stressed or even panic?

  • Do you have a hard time asking for money or accepting when offered?

  • Do you charge less than you know its worth (or can't assess its worth so you lowball)?

  • Do you relentlessly discount?

  • Does failure devastate you or even cause a withdrawal?

  • When you have a success do you move right on the the next project?

  • Do you lose interest before the project completes?

As you can see, there are a lot of ways in which this insidious energetic belief can manifest itself. At various times in my life I have had all of these. Some, I still do. Yes, even I have to remain vigilant. No buddha-hood for G yet.

So how did this all happen? Was it just parents teaching their limitations that stuck? That is part of it, of course, but this goes on at a different level. There is one thing that makes it all stick. Something dire that gives it its potency.

And that is......... (cliff hanger)

The cliff hanger is the 2nd installment on this series:


I have been working in the area of healing deep, unconscious wounds and programs for over two decades and I have found and developed very effective ways of getting to the root of these limitations and healing them.

Check out my latest workshop series!

From Scarcity Thinking to Abundance Thinking

An Extensive Healing Workshop Series

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