A Remedy for Negative Self-Talk
Our experience of life is made up of past, habitual statements of "I AM ______."
I am not enough.
I am afraid.
I am lonely.
I am frustrated.
You know the drill.
When we are not conscious of them, the majority of these statements, tend to be negative and self-derogatory.
When I speak of becoming conscious, I am not talking about simple awareness. Every sentient being is aware of itself. Human consciousness, when it starts to awaken is highly intelligent, it is discerning, it is self-assessing. It knows the difference between useful self-talk and destructive self-talk. It know the difference between love and hate, simple and complex, negative and positive and it assess these things from the position of self-aware wisdom.
So, whenever you have a thought, "I am this or that" look at it through the discerning eye of conscious awareness and assess it.
If I take this thought in and believe it, will it improve my life? Will it enhance it in any way?" If the answer is "Yes" then by all means bring it in, embody it, feed it and watch it grow. But if the answer is "No, it will detract from my quality of life" then turn from it, like you'd avoid the plague.
Now, because these thoughts are habitual. They have been coming and getting your agreement for so long, they are not going to immediately disappear. They will return. maybe even with in a few seconds of recognizing its valuelessness.
But know this. It is you who has the final word. You have the moral agency to say "NO" to any thought vying for your attention. The old habits are strong and can be very aggressive. You are the bouncer behind the velvet rope. You get to say what is admitted to your consciousness and what is not.
So the meat of this is developing the new habit of turning your attention away from anything that you do not want entering, and being embodied, in your life.
So persist in turning your attention elsewhere. I have found mantras and affirmations to be very, very helpful here because they give you a ready alternative to any negative, detriment patterns of thought that may arise.
Let me give you 3 options to help with this:
The first is a very short Sanskrit mantra that is the favorite of millions of people, "OM namah Shivaya" pronounced, "OM nah mah she vah yah."
The 2nd is an English language affirmation, "Everything is happening just as it should and it is all working out for my benefit."
The 3rd option is, of course, your own favorite prayer if you have one.
You could also:
Put on your favorite sang and sing along
Grab a favorite book and read it out loud
Do some relatively strenuous exercises
All of these grab attention, just make sure to do any of these of your choosing out loud. Engaging the body is key.
Whether you use one of these or have a favorite mantra, prayer or affirmation of your own, the key is to do them whenever you become aware of that habitual, negative self-talk. It will be difficult at first. But, if you persist in the consistent redirection of your attention, the habitual flow of thoughts will weaken until they eventually disappear.
Try it for yourself and let me know how it works for you.
GP offers dozens of workshops, meditations and courses on his learning platform, The OM School