Updated: Dec 12, 2022
Nature's Way of Letting Go
“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” - Winnie the Pooh
Coming to peace about an irrecoverable lost is the most difficult thing a human being can face.
We naturally bond with one another. Which means our lives, our emotions, our minds, and a million subtle interconnections get established and maintained, often for years. In so many ways we, quite literally become one with others.
But the reality of all life is that it is impermanent. Nothing lasts forever and, at some point, even that which has been there seemingly forever, will be gone. It is unavoidable and, in fact, without this constant transformation and eventual dissolution, life itself would not be possible.
It is this fact of impermanence that we have to come to terms with.
But there is an upside to grief. As the great philosopher, Winnie the Pooh aptly pointed out, “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” To the degree that we love, we will grieve. It is a pure expression of the value of another, the meaning and richness they brought into your life and a testament to the quality of your life.
Facing the inevitable requires great courage. Loving fully, while knowing full well it will someday come to an end, requires the most courage of all. But, beautifully, paradoxically, knowing that makes this moments shared even more sacred.
If we truly embraced impermanence, we would be so much more slow to anger and slow to criticize. We would become more patient and compassionate. We would become wise, recognizing that anything you now enjoy could be gone in a heartbeat.
This, of course, does not diminish the pain of grief, but instead encourages us to embrace it fully. Embrace grief? Really?
Yes, really. Grief is nature's way of letting go. When you have really bonded with someone (or even something) you have, in so many ways, become one. There is an energetic connection that happens that is not static. It is a constant exchange of energy so subtle and constant that the line between what is you and what is them is so blurred that for all intents and purposes there is no difference.
Loosing someone like that is like losing a limb. A part of you is gone. But, your body and your nervous system is already perfectly designed to deal with this... if you let it. The subtle energy of the body/heart goes through a momentous transformation. We feel this transformation acutely and have named that feeling grief. But that word cannot do it justice.
Imagine you are driving somewhere that you have gone to so often that it's like the car drives itself. Suddenly, you come around a curve and a bridge is out. It is gone. There are no signs, no detours or alternative routes. The sky is dark and it starts to rain. You are frozen. Can't move. You are so shocked that you don't even want to. Your life has just changed for good. And there is no way back.
Of course, a new way will be found, new routes will open up. But that old route is gone, like route 66 at the advent of national highways, it remains a wondrous memory.
If you let that feeling of grief happen, feel it in its fullest, give it all the time and space it needs, the energy system itself will find the new routes. And, miraculously, it will honor the old ways. It has the most miraculous and mysterious way of letting go and yet taking with it everything of value.
It is like deep down inside of us we know, something is never lost. There is some essence, some primal reality that persists and now that little spark of immortality has become one with you.
GP offers dozens of workshops, meditations and courses on his learning platform, The OM School
Check out GP's podcast on Spotify and other media outlets
Watch GP Live Every Tuesday at noon Eastern and Every Sunday at 2pm Eastern or catch his hundreds of vides on Youtube.