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Is the Closed Heart Really Closed?

Updated: Jan 31, 2022

"Your heart is the size of an ocean, Go find yourself in its hidden depths." - Rumi

I often get questions from sincere seekers who are struggling with something in their lives that is causing them a great deal of pain and suffering.

I have done many different videos that work with the Energy Healing Technique of Meridian Tapping (aka EFT) and my particular approach to the Chakras. As a result of one of those videos, someone in my Facebook group asked me to do a video on the subject of a closed heart chakra.

She wrote, "I am always told I have a closed heart chakra and I don't know how I can tap it open. Tapping for self love in way that is not just a positive affirmation would be super interesting. Thank you!"

This really touched me. Why? Because this lovely being assumed that what all those people were telling here was actually true. This is how our minds work. Things don't appear to be working in some part of our lives. The things we desire or maybe even long for remain out of reach. We naturally want to find out why in the hopes of finding a solution.

But the mind is actually the wrong tool for this job. When it doesn't know how to relieve a pain, it quite literally grabs for anything it can. Our minds would rather have a wrong answer than no answer. So when someone comes along a gives hold out an answer, we tend to jump on it.

So I responded.

Well, for starters, don't be so quick to listen to those who tell you your heart chakra is closed. Closed compared to what?

  • Do you feel love?

  • Can you empathize with another's pain?

  • Do you long for a more just and kind world?

  • Do you yourself long to know more love?

  • Do you want the best for yourself and others?

  • Are you more likely to forgive than condemn?

If the answer to any of those is yes, then your heart is not closed.

The actual face is, the heart cannot be closed. Like a saint in prison it can be restricted, held in check, constrained, not allowed to dance in the moonlight, but that does not change their essential nature. The accusers, of course, would love to blame the heart for its own imprisonment and thus hide the crime.

While the nature of the heart remains always as pure love, pure self-acceptance, its capacity for self-expression can be and usually is, severely constrained by our conditioning. Children, naturally loving and expressive of that love, learn to restrict it. When the exuberant expression of love meets with unkindness or indifference, the expression of our nature literally becomes painful.

Since the main function of the body is to avoid pain and, as a child, we have no power to move ourselves to a more loving environment, it does the only thing it can. It shuts down the expression to avoid the pain. After a while, the shutting down becomes so automatic that it becomes a constant. Eventually we come to believe that, this is just the way I am. Actually it isn't the way you ARE. It is the way you WERE TRAINED TO BE.

The simple Truth is, the heart cannot be closed. The essential nature of love cannot be lost. Your essential nature cannot be lost. If it could, you would have no desire for a greater expression of love in your life. You would not be listening to me. You would not be touched by these words. You would not even think to ask these questions.

So we have what for me is the fundamental struggle of the human being. The deep desire for self-acceptance and the freedom of self-expression on one side and the absolute necessity of remaining safe on the other. If I were to sum up the entire dilemma of human life and the central conflict at the heart of all suffering it would be this, safety vs freedom.

So the real question isn't, how do I open my closed heart chakra? The real question is how do I become safe enough to allow the heart and all the other parts of me to express themselves fully and unapologetically?

You are not broken. You already are everything you have ever hoped to be. But you have identified yourself with what, in fact, is not you at all. It is only the conditioned patterns in the nervous system that had to be put into place in order to protect you from pain. You are not your conditioning.

The realization that you are not your conditioning shifts your entire relationship with yourself. You don't need to be fixed because there is nothing wrong with you. But your nervous system does need to be retrained to recognize that, while it wasn't safe then, it is safe now. To facilitate this total inner reorientation I created a process call Inner Reconciliation.

Inner Reconciliation utilizes several different healing modalities like meditation, the Emotional Freedom Technique, archetypes, voice dialog even some inner child and matrix re-imprinting at times. But the soul of it is the underlying assumption that the real you is lovable, brilliant and magnificent beyond anything we can imagine.

Inner Reconciliation is not self-help. It is self-discovery. But this discovery is not of the mind. It is a whole body realization.

What if you were totally lovable and you heart was wide open but you just didn't know it? What would your day be like if you lived it with the premise that you already were everything you had ever wanted to be? How gentle would you be with yourself if you recognized that it was only a matter of time before your nervous system would respond to this new self-created, inner environment of loving acceptance and open the door to that prison?

We can't change the past. The circumstances that caused the energy system to contract were a reality at one time. But we can learn to not perpetuate the very environment of self-rejection that created that constriction and instead, create the environment of self-acceptance. And that is the only thing we every really wanted.

Join myself and host/producer Lisa Berry for the next episode of "OM School Live" every Tuesday at 12 noon eastern time (5pm UTC). at


GP offers dozens of workshops, meditations and courses on his learning platform, The OM School

Check out GP's podcast on Spotify and other media outlets

Watch GP Live Every Tuesday at noon Eastern and Every Sunday at 8pm Eastern or catch his hundreds of vides on Youtube.

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